Where to Go Next....

I skipped a week I know, I know. I figure my blog following isn't teeming just yet, so I won't get any angry hate mail. Hahaha..hha..ha..ah *sigh* One can dream...

So I had my big show this past Thursday.

It was an experience that was quite surreal for me.

I invited as many people as I could to come to a show, just to support me doing what I absolutely love doing more than anything. They came, gave me money, and stayed into the wee hours watching me preform. Watching me stand on stage and just be absolutely... happy!

This whole following your dreams gig might be the greatest thing I have ever stumbled upon.

In all honesty however, I am unexplainably humbled by everyone coming out to support what I was doing. I had to really stop and take in all the people who had come out to help me on my journey.

Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart.

Deep down, I think... no, I know everyone has a dream that they want. Some sort of aspiration that they've always longed for. Whether people achieve those dreams or not, it is something that binds us all together.

I think this is why so many people come out to support others on their journeys. It lets them, even for a moment, dream those dreams again, and maybe even believe in them again.

To see someone achieve a dream or give everything they have for a dream is inspiring to me. I see artists and people in my situation working hard and accomplishing what they want, and it pushes me to work harder and dream harder.

I also think, for the same reasons, a lot of people do not come out to those kind of shows. Seeing others accomplish and be happy in their lives can be a burden on some who maybe didn't accomplish all they had set out to accomplish.

What is most sad about that situation is those people have given up. Given up on living a happy life, which is no less attainable by them or myself.

I sat with a group of absolutely beautiful people tonight. We had a small going away gathering for myself and three others, all of which are following their passions for music and heading down to southern Ontario for school.

The room consisted of my former singing teacher Denise and everyone she has effected throughout her days teaching. From former students to current students young and old, to parents and friends.

Denise has somehow managed to draw a group of people to her life who are absolutely incredible. All beautiful, kind, genuine people. You attract those similar to yourself clearly.

But as each of us took some time to sing a few songs, talk about the good times, and show our passion for our art, I noticed a split in the room.

Half of those watching had a fire burning in their eyes. They saw kids who seemed to have it all figured out. They saw smiles and joy and comfort and accomplishment. They sat their as their own passions and dreams began to boil in their minds. Figuring out how and where they will make their next move in their road to dream catching. They soaked in a moment of inspiration and kept it close to their hearts as their imaginations took over.

These are the people who will rule the world. The people who aren't afraid of it.

A lion tamer does not tame a cat he is afraid of. How can anyone own up to their lives if it is that very life that terrifies them? To have any control you have to know your place.

The other half of those watching had sad broken stares. It completely shattered my heart to see the flame that I once saw, or believe to have once burned, dimmed by what others call "reality." They had broken hearts and dying dreams in their minds. They watched as kids took the reigns of life and happily accepted the struggle.

I wish I had the ability to open the minds of everyone who is afraid of life. To correct the thoughts of everyone who thinks they can't have what they want.

Such a small moment in time can derail one persons entire life and dreams. I've seen it happen where one bad critique, or one failed attempt will squander someone's lust for life, sending them on a down hill slope.

One day, I strongly believe the world will change.

You'll be raised in a household where change and growth is encouraged. You will see opportunity in every moment of life, and dreams will not be imagination running wild, they will be goals and realistic endeavors.

Children will be encouraged to out smart their parents, because if they don't our world will never grow. Kids should be encouraged to think, and preach, and be creative, and not follow boundaries and protocols given by an older generation, but to be given opportunities to create those boundaries. Simply imagine the growth that would come forth!

Reality won't be a struggle to make ends meet and a constant pool of negativity. Instead it will be a sea of chance and opportunity. Struggle will be the fire that fuels accomplishment, and hard times will be the essence of happiness.

No job will out weigh another job. Job's will be based and given from personal desire and work ethic. A PHD will get you no farther than a 19 year old with better ideas and more passion.

Our system won't be run by forcing everyone to be taught, instead of encouraging them to learn. We won't spend years answering questions that forcefully generalize the entire population and make essays the essence of intelligence.

Dreams will be life. Artists won't struggle because their existence will be as appreciated as a doctors. Doctors will be appreciated and rewarded for their hard work and morals but to a point that does not create social conflict.

North Americans will see Africans and Russians and Germans and all other nationalities as friends on the same earth, instead of strangers on different properties. Imagine the possibilities of earthly union. Our species would be astounding.

The world can and will be a place of peace and joy. If we spend the time to encourage the broken and not make anyone afraid of life.

Reach as high as you can, there is nothing to loose. It'll hurt but you'll learn to get there. You are far to smart not to be able to.

It's all so simple!

I just want everyone to be as happy as I was on that stage Thursday.

That's my new dream...

~G'night~

Inspired by Hurt

Although in no way am I aching these days, I of late stumbled across an old poem which was written during a time when I was hurting.

I have always been one to appreciate the times that were the hardest. Not only because the hard times are the ones by which the most lesson is taught and the most experience is gained, but because, as an artist, they are the times that inspire so much creativity. Not because they are creative moments, but because, when saddened, I am often lifted to a place of emotional awakening that I can't ignore and am often overwhelmed by, hence being an emotional mess.

I have never turned away a sad or angry feeling but embraced it and used it to my artistic advantage.

Writing is my escape above all else. If I lost my ability to speak tomorrow I would be always happy writing.

Here is what I scratched down on a night that I was feeling rather down and had a heavy weight on my chest...

I scream a song, in tune I scream

I struggle late to sleep, to dream

My chest be burdened by a weight

I fear to face...

I scream a song, in tune I scream

I wish to cure, I fear to bleed

I wish to lift the ache I seethe

among my dreams....

I write to woe, I woe to write

By day I sleep, alive by night

Alone while dark, a crowd by light

when needed least....

I write to woe, I woe to write

Compelled, I second guess my rights

My mirrored figure comes to life

whose opinions cause riot....

riot within...

riot without riot...

My memory begins to lapse, and by this golden thread I grasp

----------------------------

A bit of beauty drawn from a dark moment.

I embrace the dark but to understand its depths. My light will be fashioned accordingly to erase all such darkness.

Amen to the life I lead both light and dark, good and bad, experience for experience, a contrast, existence...

Goodnight readers,

Dare to dream

The Ball, She Rolls.....

What an exciting and stressful time it is!

With my newly acquired pastime of booking many shows, learning new material, finding a place to live and making as much money as possible in one month, my ability to make myself far too busy than any person should ever be has been, once again, utilized splendidly.

My brain has been on overdrive the past week. With everything from living arrangements in Toronto, to bank loans, to full time work, to risking work for music, to editing videos, to sleeping properly, to supporting other musicians, I feel a bit.... overwhelmed we could say?

I look back to my enthusiastic, yet somewhat naive quote from before this all began;

"The best way for me to do this is to completely drown myself in it and then learn to swim"

A gallant statement..... I know

But then again if I don't have the balls to brave the storm than I shouldn't expect much from this career.

Every time I worry about it, however, I can close my eyes and trade in my constant stress to spend nights drowning in a sea of passion in front of an infinitely growing crowd chanting my name and singing my songs!

Ah, what a blessing dreams are. And what a strange phenomenon that human beings have created a homonym out of "dreams"

When I close my eyes, I drift off to my perfect dream world, full of love ....and sex and magic? haha Sorry....

Full of love, and passion, and people who make me happy, and absolutely un-limited imaginative control. I literally get whatever I want, how I want it, when I want it.

And then I wake up and the world tells me "Friend, that was only a dream. It can't really happen"....later followed by..."Follow your dreams! Live life large!"(But stay within global limits)

Let's make up our minds here people! If the dreams of everyday are but goals and realistic standards, I don't think they should be called dreams at all. Instead.... Desires

Luckily I'm stubborn, and rarely listen to what the world believes.

My dreams are in my sleep and in my reality and I carry them from world to world. I dream of things I know to be reality and if not now, WILL be reality.

My dreams while I'm awake shape my dreams when I sleep and vise versa.

Our dreams are subconsciously displayed before us without our control. It is almost literally your heart and soul saying "Hey!! This is what we want! Now make it happen chump!"

So let me challenge you...

Never wake up from your dream. Open your eyes and continue to live it. Those who tell you that dreams are too hard and too impossible for real life, close their eyes and dream of a world they wish was theirs. A world they'll never have. Why do that to yourself?

You dream your ideal life, so make life your ideal dream

It is in your hands to do, I promise...

Sleep tight and Sweet dre....

Sweet Lives :)

To dream a dream...

And so it rained...

The city's been an indecisive monsoon for the past week; wake up to a beautiful, sunny morning, have lunch in a rain storm, get home from work with bright blue skies, have dinner whilst the window taps with rain, get cozy at home in the summer's night heat, fall asleep to the sound of thunder.

And although I groan in the absence of continual summer sun, there is a certain something about a rain shower that I will always be smitten by.

I've come to appreciate rain as my drug....my muse even. I am never so inspired to be creative than whilst doused in a torrential downpour. It's as though my creative spirit is sitting in the clouds and this is her way of reaching down and filling my mind and heart with artistic idea and thought.

When I was younger I would sing in the rain. I would dress up in snowpants (of which I dug out of my winter attire boxes), my fathers raincoat to ensure I would not get my clothes wet (as the jacket covered most of my legs anyway), any sort of rain shoe/boot I could find (if not sandals) and go singing in the rain.

I felt as though no one could here me. That the collective consciousness of the rain drops was to create a barrier of beautiful chaos that would not allow sound to leave. That I could scream and sing and yell as much as I wanted and it was only me listening. No one else could here me.

I find myself now sitting. Less full of pure physical energy, but equally as inspired to sing.

These days I'll sit on a step or porch and feel each individual raindrop strike my forehead.

I'll imagine myself on a stage...

Alone, with an audience of which I cannot see the end. The noise of the rain changes from a sporadic pattering of splashes to a dull, organized roar. The noise begins to seep its way into my imagination and completes the picture.

The noise of the shower becomes the roar of the audience....

I want to be no where else...

This is my dream, my goal.

I will affirm this many times in this blog.

Dreams are achieved by choice. You create your reality and I am everyday creating mine.

I will not only think of my dreams and goals, but write them here, and tell every person I know of them. The more I assure myself of their immanent existence, the more they will become just that.

I control my universe. You will hear my music. Someone will rely on my music. And I will be recognized as an artist.

This is my one life dream... And I only but await its existence