Me Oh, Me Oh, My....

MY, my, my, it has been a while since I last blogged.

I could put the blame on many things from being too busy or being too tired or not being inspired enough to write, but tonight... I have zero excuses. I've been home sick too many days to not scribe at least a small fraction of my mind for an evening. I feel I owe that to myself. To my creativity and my growth.

I tell you. Over the past few weeks I have grown a fair amount. I've come to realize that I was a class A late bloomer. (Self discovery speaking) I was a goof off for a large part of my childhood years and I think I can begin to finally say I'm becoming a man. I always had images of who I wanted to be in my mind, but could never bring myself to being that person. Whether it be peer pressures or simply an honest ignorance, I could not act the way I wanted to. And no, I find no shame in admitting that later than at 18 years old. I was, and most definitely am, still a child in many aspects of my life. However I am slowly but surely making my way down the checklist of maturity and "me finding". At least I think so.

I've begun to develop in me an eternal calm about most things. I have been pretty stressed out as of late and I think that the sudden shock of me moving to a place like Toronto has instilled in me an ability to let go. It's only been discovered recently, but it's a great thing to have. I have spent a fair bit of time talking with people and observing people and it has let me truly find what the worst of community is and what the best of community is, and from that I've started shaping myself accordingly. A deep breath here and there helps me get centred and be at peace.

Yang. Whilst a wonderful sense of calm is created in my mind. I am finding I am beginning to HATE the pace at which this city runs because of it. A quick jaunt back to Thunder Bay always reminds me of this. People in this city are absolute robots, and I became one! Wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. And yet, it seems to be the only way to get along in this town. If you stop for a moment you get bulldozed.

To close. With my path to self discovery becoming more and more beaten I am finding an honest love for...stopping. Stopping and appreciating. This city is very far from who and what I am and what I want to be. I am beginning to find that I am not a man of accomplishment but of experience. And what makes me know that is I am happy saying it. I can say I don't care to accomplish big things with a happy heart. Things and, possessions, and money are fleeting my heart. Life is becoming more and more a canvas for beautiful moments. I am back to breathing the air and tasting life.

How long can I stay behind the city scape? Who knows. But I am content for now. I can smile and live. I have found a routine I don't mind and that's alright with me. Take life as it comes and stop for the moments that count.

This was all a bit of a loose leafed rant but I always enjoy writing. Being creative in some way. My cough has kept me from singing so instead I write.

P.S. - What a beautiful and powerful obligation it is to be an artist and a creative. Blessed are all those with creativity bursting from their hearts. I have come to hold you all so dear to my heart. Mankind commends you as I commend you. Never be afraid of creativity. Do something and think something different each and every day.

I have woken up with this clarity a few times now. Lovely days those were... Lovely days indeed.

In Honesty and Creativity,

-Isaac