A Lot Can Change - Fighting Cancer

I was speaking with a good friend of mine just the other day and he said to me "You ever have those times in your life where, over the course of maybe 2-3 months, or say 6 months, you change more than you have in your entire life?" I smiled and nodded. Knowing that those major transitions had BEEN my life since I was young. I responded by telling him "My friend, I've changed more in the past two weeks than I have in my entire life"

I love change. I embrace and worship change. Any opportunity to re-evaluate who I am and what I stand for is intriguing and engaging for me. So yah, I've come across a few moments in my life where I've looked at my situation and sculpted a new, more centred, more understanding individual within myself. I think it's been the catalyst for the growth of my soul. I know it has.

About four weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer. Although the cat has whispered through the bag already I figured I would publicly post this to calm any concerned minds. It's a scary thing to say out loud but what I've come to realize is it's an even scarier thing for people to hear while far away. The cancer I've acquired however is controllable and, if one had to get any kind, it's a kind that can be treated quite well. Success rates are very positive and treatment is not intolerable.
So nobody worry for me from afar. If you were near, you'd see my high spirits and my comfort with the entire thing. Most days I feel like a regular Joe (who watches a lot of movies and plays a lot of video games)

Getting the news was a strange moment for me. The doctor who had to tell us was ready for the family breakdown. It was my parents and I, sitting in a screened off section of emergency, waiting to hear whether or not my blood work showed cancerous cells (the type of cancer I've gotten is called Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_lymphoblastic_leukemia)
I could tell the doctor was nervous. He was new, and stumbled over most of what he said, delicate not to be insensitive, but trying to act his part as the professional. When he confirmed their findings I'm sure he was surprised to see our family take it fairly calmly. Little did he know he was sitting with the Matthews family. Little rattles us. We simply said "Well, alright then. What now?" Taken aback he continued to try and provide comfort but I'm sure he was relieved.

I didn't care to be emotional regarding it. That's what you'll find to be the reoccurring theme throughout this blog. The lack of emotion - at least in regards to the cancer itself. I wasn't scared, nor did I immediately think of death or any of that Hollywood hub-bub. I felt completely plutonic towards the disease, as though I had just been told I had a mean fever and we were gonna give you some pills for it. Just another sickness to fight off. I don't know if this is a quality that I posses or it is how most people take this kind of news? It was much easier though. I was too young to envision something like this taking my life; that wasn't even an option. And even if treatment sucked it couldn't be any worse than when I got my wisdom teeth out or fought off other crazy infections I'd had as a child. I would follow the doctors instructions, go through some crazy tests and maybe even surgeries, then I'd be back on the road. That's what I knew. That's what I know. There's no other options to even entertain really. I'm 22! I have waaaaaaay to many things to screw up still and discover. This was just a speed bump to pass over. Reaffirm some beliefs and move on. That's how I saw it, and still see it as we speak.

The next week or two was spent hooked up to IV after IV helping my body recover from all the infections I had developed while ignoring the signs of my condition - lol (p.s. if you ever feel off...just go get some work done. Why not just do it!? We're such a stubborn species)
It was during this time that I was introduced to so many experiences that I care not to mention them all. Some too personal to reveal, some too spiritual to make sense of. It was this lying alone in a hospital bed, staring at a wall, feeling my body fight with everything it had, that allowed me to undergo constant and immense self-analyzation and self-realization. A moment in my life that I'll forever view as an opportunity opposed to an unfortunate event.

Where I began to get emotional was in the out pouring of support. I would receive letters and emails from friends and family of whom I hadn't spoken in years. Even to have someone who I would consider an acquaintance, no, nearly a stranger, send a message saying they spend a moment each day praying for me was so powerful to me. I'm a strong believer in the power of thought and to know that individuals were taking a second from their busy days to stop and think about my well being nearly brought me to tears. It's an incredible gesture and to all who spent the time for me I am forever in your gratitude. Your love was most definitely felt and it inspired me to stay happy during the hardest of days. It was such a powerful, beautiful gift to be cared for from all over the country. Even the world. I had forgotten about so many incredible individuals I had met throughout my life, all of whom I wish I could gather together and have a giant celebration for!
I don't know who said it but there is that quote that mentions gauging your life based on the type of people you've surrounded yourself with. My life is full of the worlds greatest people. I can confidently say that. I am lucky enough to be friends and be loved by some of the kindest, most caring, most generous lovely people in the world. All of this has given me so much hope for the state of all of us. It is a shame it takes some bad news to encourage the outpouring but at least I am now aware that the flood gate exists. The world is full of wonderful people, don't ever think twice about that fact. If you need a friend or a kind shoulder, they are out there. I promise you.

In any case, I wished not to make this blog too long. I simply wanted to make certain my situation to those who hadn't heard, and to also express my deepest love towards everyone in my life. Yes, everyone I've ever met who has helped shape who I am. This is a battle that I must take on and I am glad for it. It has given me the opportunity to focus on positivity each and every day. It's allowed me to spend the time appreciating those in my life including my incredible family and friends. It's given me the chance to slow down life for a moment and really discover what's important and where I want to go.
It's given me the chance to conquer something. Something that had taken my life from my hands, and now I get to take it back. A liberating moment that I am blessed to experience.

Treatment has been going perfectly to plan. I am young and have a healthy body so it fights valiantly and successfully.

Thank you again to everyone who has supported me and spent time for me. A million thank yous. I look forward to seeing everyone and handing out some fierce hugs!

I'll let you know when I'm cancer free and taking over the world once more :)

Cheers & love,
Isaac Matthews